THE GREEN KNIGHT - Part 1
20 Sided Stories
THE TWILIGHT SPACE
The Green Knight - Part 1
Air Date: September 23, 2020
[The Twilight Space intro music.]
Kristin Couture: 20 Sided Stories has absolutely no affiliation with A24, nor The Green Knight role-playing game, nor the movie, you hear?
Narrator: You unlock this door with a natural 20. Beyond it is another dimension—a dimension of sound, a dimension of dice, a dimension of mind.
We travel back in time to a world built of myths and folklore. One in which will be carved throughout medieval history for millennia to come. It is the era of King Arthur and his Knights of The Round Table.
But those knights will not be the ones in our minds eye. No. There’s a different kind of Knight in this adventure. The Green Knight. One of darkness and mystery. One that, when defeated, may grant riches and glory.
Cast Introduction |
[20 Sided Stories music.]
Sage: Welcome to 20 Sided Stories! My name is Sage G.C. I’m your director and gamemaster, and I am joined by my wonderful cohosts and players, Emily, Travis, Jessica, and David, who have each built characters that they will be presenting and roleplaying as.
Emily: I’m Emily, and I will be playing [“Elowyn” accent] Lady Elowyn of Danbranin. I am on my path to strike down the Green Knight, as my family has done for centuries. My brother had set off to defeat the Green Knight himself, but instead lost his life. But it shall not be in vain! For I will avenge him, and I will rebuild my family. And I will strike down the Green Knight.
Travis: Hi! I’m Travis, and I’m playing Stev, the bard. I struck down the Green Knight with a mandolin in a cave when I was running away from a bunch of cannibals who I thought were my friends. This just so happened to be the cave of Merlin, the wizard, and I’ve just been kinda hangin’ out there ever since.
Jessica: Hi. I’m Jessica and I’ll be playing [“Rebecca” accent] Rebecca Blacksmith. I love Fridays. I’m a knight who secretly wants to be a bard, which is why I’m friends with Stev. Um, I’m a knight who works for Lady Elowyn’s family. They’ve hired me to be her bodyguard on the way to the Green Knight, who’s actually called me several times, but I’ve just been too lazy about it.
David: Uh, hi. My name is David, and I’ll be playing the part [“Merlin” accent] of Merlin! The Ancient paragon—
[Stifled laughter.]
—of Arthurian mysticism.
Sage: [amused] Just actual Merlin.
Merlin: I’ve heard tell that the Green Knight is up to his old tricks in Camelot, and I’ve decided to take young Elowyn under my wing. And with my tutelage guide her to discover the outer—and inner—secrets that will assist her in defeating the challenges of the Green Knight!
Sage: [chuckles] Love it! So! We’re gonna take these characters and go on a quest within the world of the Green Knight.
Jessica: Whoo.
Emily: Whoo!
Sage: Based on the unreleased film from A24. It was slated to release in June 2020, but—
Travis: A lot o’ things were slated for June 2020. June 2020 was slated for June 2020.
[Chuckling.]
Sage: Thanks to COVID-19, we now have to roleplay our own version of the movie instead.
Travis: We’re gonna do this with Tennant next week.
Sage: [amused] Yeah.
[Emily chuckles.]
The Green Knight is based on a classic Arthurian legend, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, where Gawain gets this strange challenge from the Green Knight who says, “Strike me here and now!” And which Gawain does, ’cause he’s a very honorable, chivalrous man, and he wants to prove his worth.
But then, after striking him, the Green Knight’s like, “One year to the day, come seek me out in the green chapel and I’m gonna hit ya back!”
Um…[tsks] If I’m being honest, the legend itself is really confusing. When I read it I— [chuckles] It’s kinda clunky on, like, what they’re going for. So even though the Green Knight’s— The character’s game is not very well designed in that story, I think the RPG is pretty well-designed.
A24 has a custom-made RPG for this world where players have to balance Honor…
[Honor Chime.]
And Dishonor.
[Dishonor Chime.]
20 points of Dishonor and the Adventure is over for that player. Players need not fear death, but they do need to fear Dishonor.
There will be a mix of premade encounters from the booklet as well as encounters I have designed myself. And each encounter will end in a phase of judgement where we go through the list of all these moral dilemmas, and we find out truly how honorable—or dishonorable—our party is.
Emily: Ha [stifles laughter]. Haha.
[Travis chuckles.]
Sage: [chuckles] What’s so funny, Emily? [chuckles]
Travis: A knowing laugh.
Emily: Yes. Let’s find out! [chuckles]
[Travis chuckles.]
Sage: Historically, in 20 Sided Stories history, we’ve always been [stifles laughter] honorable.
Jessica: [innocently] We’ve never—
Sage: [amused] We’ve never done wrong to the world around us.
Travis: Roll the clips.
Emily: [hesitant] Uh…
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Jessica: Woof [stifles laughter].
Sage: The big thing with the Green Knight is you must be there exactly one year to the day of the original encounter. That’s where we are starting. There is only one day left.
Emily: Oh. Shit.
Jessica: What day of the week is it?
Sage: Um…
Emily: Are there days of the week?
[Sage chuckles.]
Is this a Gregorian calendar? The Julian calendar?
Sage: I’m gonna say it’s a Friday night.
Jessica: Eeeey!
[Sage chuckles.]
Travis: Yay.
Jessica: Okay, great.
Travis: Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck
David: Party.
Jessica: Yum, yum, yum.
[Emily stifles laughter.]
Sage: Are we all ready to dive in?
David: [“Merlin”] Aye!
Emily: Whoo hoo! Yeah!
Jessica: [quiet roar] Yeah.
Travis: Yeah, let’s do it. Yeah.
Emily: Green Knight!
Travis: Yeah, what have we got to lose? Come on.
Narrator: A test of faith and courage. A game of chivalry and honor. A legendary race against time. You are about to enter…the Twilight Space. One-Shot number 1. The Green Knight.
[Music crescendos and fades.]
THE GREEN KNIGHT - Part 1 |
[Ominous music builds. Tavern patrons chatter in the background and dishes clatter as they eat.]
Bartender: [shocked] Oye! The Green Knight ’imself?
Rebecca: Yeah.
Bartender: You know of the legend?
Stev: Know of it?
[Stev sets his mug on the table.]
We’re chasin’ it!
Elowyn: Sst! [warning] Stev.
Rebecca: [bragging] We’re living it.
Stev: We’re gonna take him, and we’re gonna bend them over and- and kick his green, lily-ass all the way back to yarkbergarg or wherever he comes from.
Elowyn: Stev!
Stev: [curious] What?
Bartender: [taunting] You? You, a scrawny li’le bard?
Stev: Hey!
[Stev clunks his mug down.]
[swallows] I may be a scrawny little bard, but I hit him so much with this mandolin, that he said, “Okay, that’s enough” and told me to come back a year later so he can have some more!
Rebecca: Hey, Stev?
Stev: [curious] What?
Rebecca: Think you’re giving off some, uh, BSE, which is, uh…
Stev: Huh?
Rebecca: No. I can’t spell. You- you’re showing off the small—
Stev: Nobody can spell. It’s Arthurian times.
[Sage chuckles.]
Rebecca: Don’t- don’t—
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Don’t tell. Just show.
Elowyn: But the point I was going to make is that, perhaps, we shouldn’t share all of the details of our quest with every random stranger who asks us about the Green Knight.
Sage: Somebody next to you leans over.
Drunk: Quest? Did you say quest?
Stev: [loud] Of course we’re on a quest!
Drunk: Are you a bunch of heroes on a quest?
[Sage stifle laughter.]
Stev: [loud] Exactly! We’re going to face the Green Knight!
[Music crescendos.]
Elowyn: Uck. Merlin’s beard.
Merlin: What? What about my beard?
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Stev: I’m sorry. I’m a bard and I’m 5’2”, and I’ve had four meads. The—
[Sage chuckles.]
The math is not in all of your favor. I was born to do this!
Merlin: Stev, listen to me. This filthy, toothless, bumbling bartender is absolutely right to be skeptical.
Bartender: Oye.
Merlin: The Green Knight is no laughing matter. It’s going to take the energy of a powerful sorcerer, like myself, Merlin! Alongside all your other help in order to qualm him once and for all.
Bartender: Oye! Merlin? Like, the Merlin?!
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Rebecca: [bragging] Yeah.
Merlin: Yes, that’s right.
Elowyn: Oof.
Merlin: The Merlin!
Bartender: From Camelot?!
Stev: That’s what I said!
Merlin: The legendary paragon of Arthurian mysticism!
[Elowyn groans.]
Bartender: Hailing all the way from the southeast of the country?
Merlin: Yes.
Bartender: Miles and miles! It musta taken you a whole year to get here!
Merlin: It’s taken me almost no time, as a wizard who’s over six-hundred years old.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
It’s a negligible period.
Bartender: SIX HUNDRED?!
Rebecca: It’s really not tasteful to be asking for autographs and giving some kind of star treatment just because he’s Merlin.
Sage: A whole crowd swarms in on... [chuckles]
[Shoes scuff as a crowd gathers around.]
Rebecca: Oh, god.
Elowyn: [exasperated] Merlin.
Merlin: I have got toenails older than half of you!
Elowyn: Merli— D-disperse the crowd, huh?
Sage: [chuckles] The excitement starts building!
Elowyn: Uck.
Sage: Everybody is—
Stev: [leading a chant] Merlin! Merlin! Merlin!
[The crowd joins the chant, cheering and clapping.]
Yeah! Hey, this is great!
Sage: And then Stev steps up on the bar with his mandolin.
Stev: Alright everybody!
[Mandolin strums.]
This one’s— I wrote last week when we were off in some lake with some ghost lady.
[David snorts.]
It goes a little something like this!
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
[Stev begins singing and plays his mandolin.]
There once was a ghost lady
Her name was Beth!
She needed a favor
So her soul could rest.
We found her old head at the bottom of a lake
There was a neat ring
Which nobody did take.
[Mandolin pauses]
[normal] Af…
[Mandolin resumes.]
[sings] …ter that it gets fuzzy
I really don’t know.
I mean all this happened
Like [normal] a full week ago.
[sings] Stop looking me like this song isn’t…done
[normal] I mean what am I? Records? You were all there. You know what happened! You- t…
[Mandolin stops.]
Okay. Hold on.
[He clears his throat and looks at his mandolin. A moment later he starts playing again.]
[sings] So we slayed all the bad guys
And gave to the poor!
The moral of this story
Is that we’re fuckin’ great!
[Mandolin stops abruptly.]
[Beat.]
Ole!
[Quiet, hesitant applause scattered around the room.]
Bartender: Eh, wait. It some— kinda feels like you didn’t finish the song.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
You sure you don’t got a bridge—
Stev: Wha—
Bartender: —or a B part or somethin’?
Stev: Well no… No I don’t.
[David snorts.]
[loud] But that’s okay, because Merlin’s here! Oh my god! Merlin!
Bartender: Merlin!
[Crowd cheers. Merlin chuckles at Stev. Music thrums and fades.]
[Birds chirp.]
Sage: We all wake up.
[Rooster crows.]
Groggy and- and achy.
[Everyone groans.]
Stev: I feel great!
[Sage chuckles.]
Elowyn: This place smells rank.
[Merlin burps and grunts.]
Stev: Uck! That was a great time!
Rebecca: We got down, alright.
Stev: Whoo!
Sage: Stev checks the clock. And by clock I mean the sun [chuckles].
[David snorts. Travis stifles laughter.]
Stev: [pained] Ooo! [quiet] I gotta stop lookin’ into this thing.
Elowyn: What hour is it?
Stev: Holy shit!
[Turkey gobbles.]
Everybody, we gotta go! It’s…it’s there o’ clock!
[Jessica and Sage stifle laughter.]
Sage: The party grabs their things.
[Items clatter as everyone scoops up their gear.]
Rebecca: Oh [coughs].
Stev: Ah!
[Merlin grunts.]
Has anybody- has anybody seen my mandolin?
Rebecca: Uh—
Stev: Ah, fuck. I left it downstairs at the bar. Alright, hold on!
Elowyn: You better hope it’s still there.
Stev: Has di—
Elowyn: It’s your only line of defense.
[Jessica snorts.]
Stev: I’m gonna pretend that wasn’t a joke.
Elowyn: It wasn’t.
Rebecca: Do hurry.
[Stev runs out of the room and tromps down the stairs.]
Sage: The bartender sees you come down the stairs.
Bartender: Oye!
Stev: Yeah?
Bartender: This yours?
[The Bartender reaches down and pulls Stev’s mandolin out from under the bar.]
Stev: Oh thank god! Yeah!
Bartender: You left it here.
[Stev takes it quickly.]
Stev: I know. I was…I was drunk. But thank you for keeping it safe. I appreciate that.
Bartender: Of course! Your songs were great, they just kinda felt like they weren’t done.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Stev: Y-yeah, I know. I- I know. I know. I agree. Um…it’s just that I only know three chords on the mandolin and—
Bartender: Right, right.
Stev: I sure would like a fourth one. I feel like that would really kinda round out my sound. Unfortunately for me, nobody I find here, or anywhere, seems to know a forth mandolin chord.
Bartender: Mmm.
Stev: And you know, it’s kinda hard enough being a- a traveling bard, without every innkeeper, shopkeeper—
[The Bartender stammers.]
—uh, well wisher, and well keeper—you know the people that keep wells?
Bartender: Mm.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Stev: Uh, questioning what it is I do with my life. So [tsks] consider that next time you go asking somebody about their craft.
Bartender: Uh—
Stev: You know?
Bartender: Yeah. Sure. I’m- I’m chill.
Stev: Anyways…
[He taps his mandolin.]
See ya later.
[Sage chuckles.]
[Stev opens the tavern door and heads out.]
[Suspenseful music.]
Sage: The party reconvenes outside of the tavern and sets off on their way.
[Stat test chime.]
Can everybody roll me Authority to lock in the order of initiative for this encounter.
[Dice roll on table.]
[A pigeon coos.]
Travis: 15.
Emily: 22.
Jessica: 20.
David: 18.
Jessica: Wow. We’re high rollers today.
Sage: [amused] Wow.
Travis: Beast.
Sage: Yeah, what a fuckin’ start. We leave the village of Habitinarium, but several miles from the green chapel, and continue towards it, entering a thick, dark woodland.
[Various birds cry out.]
Elowyn: [sarcastic] Oh good. Another forest.
Merlin: Yes, hello there. There are many dark secrets in the forest. You must be watchful!
Elowyn: [unimpressed] Yes, yes.
Stev: You know, it’s pretty cool to have Merlin as, like, you know, like another dad or something.
Merlin: [irked] I’m not your dad! Stop saying I’m your dad!
Stev: I—
Elowyn: Yes.
Stev: Mean, not my—
Merlin: No! You keep mentioning dad. I’m not your dad!
Rebecca: [contemplative] You’re more like a grandpa, actually.
Merlin: I am not related to any of you!
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Elowyn: No. He’s more like a wizard that forced himself onto this adventure, and now he’s here.
Rebecca: You hit the nail in the head.
Merlin: I’ll be hitting you in the head if you keep up with that backsass.
[Sage chuckles.]
Rebecca: I’d like to see you try! You can’t even reach the top of my head. I tower over you.
Elowyn: [soothing] Alright, alright.
Sage: Everybody’s arguing. I’m gonna say that’s +1 Dishonor.
[Dishonor chime.]
Merlin: Dammit!
Sage: For everybody except for Stev [chuckles].
Travis: [celebrating] Hey!
[Sage chuckles.]
Sage: And then! All of a sudden! An orange blur just—
[Something whooshes past.]
Right across the path.
Stev: [startled] Tiger!
Merlin: [sarcastic] You think?
Sage: [chuckles] And then a man follows it.
[A Man runs onto the trail and scuffs to a stop in front of the party.]
Elowyn: Um…
Man: Ugh. Darn it.
Rebecca: Did you lose your dog?
Elowyn: What was that?
Man: My dog? [chuckles] No, it’s a fox. I’ve been chasin’ this thing for so long.
Stev: Why?
Elowyn: Uh, why?
[Emily and Jessica stifle laughter.]
Man: What?
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Stev: Yeah, why?
Rebecca: [slow] Why?
Elowyn: For meat? For- for fur? For…
Merlin: Wherefor?
Elowyn: Fun?
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Let’s have Rebecca Blacksmith roll me Persuasion.
[Dice roll on table.]
And this is an Honorable action, I would say.
Jessica: 9.
Sage: And that’s under?
Jessica: Yeah.
Sage: Nice.
[Honor chime.]
Rebecca: Um…
[She croaks quietly in confusion.]
Wha- okay. So you’re chasing a… I’m sorry. What? Why?
[Sage and Jessica stifle laughter.]
I’m very persuasive.
[Sage and Emily chuckle.]
Man: Alright. [quiet] Alright, alright, look. [whispers] I’ve been chasin’ this thing forever. It’s not a normal animal. I-it’s a magic fox, you understand?
[He takes a deep breath and sighs.]
Rebecca: Well—
Man: [whispers] You prob’ly think I’m crazy or somethin’.
Elowyn: Oh.
Man: I- I swear! I swear!
Stev: Oh, no, no. We got Merlin.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Elowyn: Yea—
Stev: We’re right with you.
Man: [gasps] The Merlin?
Rebecca: Uck.
Elowyn: Yeah!
Merlin: Yes.
Rebecca: [loud] Stop mentioning that he’s actually Merlin!
Elowyn: Not t-t- not the time.
Man: Wow! Could you—
Elowyn: Not the time.
Man: Could you- could you sign my- my—
[Clothes and items rustle as the Man pulls out his crossbow.]
My crossbow?
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Elowyn: Once you tell us what is going on, then perhaps we could entertain that idea. Continue with your magic fox.
Man: [quiet] They say this fox can talk. ’Kay?
Stev: Talking fox?
Man: [excited] But i- but it can see other worlds and the future. The past. I know it can. They told me! And I’m gonna catch it.
Stev: Fox that talks.
Man: Because if you catch it, and then you kill it…
[Rebecca gasps.]
You get its powers.
Rebecca: Oh, that’s fucked up.
Man: So I’m gonna get the damn thing…before you do!
[He shifts forward and stares at them.]
Sage: This man, he takes, like, a pose. Like he’s about to— Like we’re in a quick draw, and someone’s gonna sprint first towards the fox. [amused] But everybody’s just passively standing there [chuckles].
Jessica: I’m staring him down like a tower.
Rebecca: [nonchalant] Hey.
Sage: Ooo, trying to intimidate him, Rebecca?
Emily: Yeah, can I- can I back her up with that? Since we’re both tall ladies with swords?
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Absolutely.
[Dice roll on table.]
Jessica: 15.
Emily: I got 13, so that’s all good.
[Honor chime.]
Sage: Great. The knight and the lady stare this man down. That’s all they need, and he doesn’t move, even though he’s ready to.
[Rebecca burps.]
Meanwhile…
Stev: Hey, Merlin, is this guy full o’ shit or is there really a- a talking fox?
Merlin: Uh, well, I’ll have to analyze that orange glow with my infinite powers of magnificent mysticism!
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Uh, this is um, uh, yeah it’s Honorable. You’re seeking truth. You’re not trying to do anything harmful.
[Dice roll on table.]
Merlin: Darn! An 8.
[Dishonor chime.]
Sage: Barely seeking into the future while they stare at this man, Merlin can see the true effects of this fox and feel its mystic presence from here. It’s not too far. If this fox were to be killed, it grants the killer a eldritch vision that allows people to slightly see into the future.
It’s almost as if the fox’s soul becomes one with its murderer. But! Also, he sees that this fox is not meaning any harm.
Jessica: [obviously] Yeah.
Sage: And can, in fact, speak. It’s very intelligent. But that’s all he gets.
Merlin: I’m afraid we cannot let any harm befall that poor animal.
Rebecca: Agreed.
Elowyn: Merlin, Stev. You go find the fox while, um, Rebec and I detain this good sir.
Merlin: Very well.
Stev: Alright! B team!
[The two high-five.]
Rebecca: But do be quick. The green chapel awaits.
[Music thrums and fades.]
AD BREAK |
[Radio clicks on.]
Kristin Couture: We’ll be right back after these messages.
[Radio crackles off.]
[Mystical music.]
Merlin: Well that’s all very exciting. I hope everything turns out okay. By the way, it’s me! Merlin! The incredible genius of ancient Arthurian magic! Here to tell you about a strain of sorcery that’s more powerful than anything I practice.
And that’s the power of crowdfunding. So visit www.patreon.com/20SidedStories and become a top contributor today. Much like our good friends, to whom I’d like to extend a warm, wizardly thank you.
To Noah Reno.
And K. Max.
And Betty Stark
And, of course, Brian Baldwin
And who could forget Nate Buck?
For as little as $3 a month, you can become a contributor and gain access to extra special, exclusive episodes from your favorite podcast, 20 Sided Stories. So what are you waiting for?
www.patreon.com/20SidedStories
And stay tuned for more magic!
[Music crescendos and fades.]
[Adventure music.]
Sage: Also wanna give a quick shoutout to Mars’ Best Brisket, an audio comedy charity event campaign to raise $1,000 for the Lovin’ Spoonfuls, a food rescue in Boston, Massechuests.
Lovin’ Spoonfuls are a group that rescues food waste from restaurants and grocery stores and gets that food to people facing food insecurity. About 70% of the population of Massechusets was considered food insecure at the end of June 2020. That’s up from around 9% pre-pandemic.
Just $1 rescues three pounds of food. Enough to feed a person for a whole day. Pretty cool.
And some other cool tidbits. All of the 20 Sided Stories crew contributed to Mars’ Best Brisket in some way. We all had little cameo rolls in the show, and Travis wrote the main theme song as well. So you should definitely check it out if you like what we’re doin’.
And, obviously, they’re shootin’ for a great cause, and they already hit their goal in, like, a day. And now they have stretch goals, so let’s help them smash those stretch goals, shall we?
Head on over to marsbestbrisket.com check out the show and check out the charity, make a contribution, and let’s get some people fed.
[Music builds and cuts off when the radio clicks off.]
The Green Knight - Part 1.5 |
[Crows cry out. Songbirds chirp. Suspenseful music.]
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Go ahead and roll for Brawn. Both Rebecca and Elowyn.
Emily: Is it Honorable?
Sage: This is a Dishonorable action.
Jessica: Oh.
[Dice roll on table.]
Emily: Yeah, 16. I got over.
Jessica: Oh, shit.
Sage: But Rebecca Blacksmith did not.
Jessica: And I got 8.
[Dishonor chime.]
[Jessica and Emily stifle laughter. Sage clicks his tongue.]
Emily: [amused] Oh no.
Sage: As Merlin and Stev cross into the thick of the woods, Rebecca and Elowyn grab this man.
[Clothes rustle as they grab his arms.]
And then he hits Rebecca Blacksmith in the face!
[Pow!]
Rebecca: Ah!
Elowyn: You’ll regret that.
[She cocks her arm back and punches him hard in the jaw. He stumbles back with a grunt.]
Man: Okay. Oh, Jesus. Ow. Ooo, you’re strong.
Elowyn: I’ll draw my sword, if necessary.
Man: Alright, alright, I’ll just stop. I’ll…hang out here.
[He shuffles his feet.]
Elowyn: Sit!
[He clears his throat.]
Rebecca: Stay!
Man: Hey!
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Rebecca: Good boy.
[Emily stifles laughter.]
Man: [Sage stifles laughter] Little dishonorable for you- of you to dehumanize me like that.
[Emily stifles laughter. Travis chuckles.]
Rebecca: You just slapped me in the face.
Man: Nah, that’s true. I- I deserved that.
[Misadventure music plays as Merlin and Stev trudge through the forest.]
Merlin: Keep a sharp eye, boy. There’s more than meets the eye on this particular fox.
Stev: You’ve got it, magic man.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Sage: And they see the fox.
Stev: Mmm…
Merlin: There! Fox has met my eye! Look!
[Magical chime.]
Stev: Oh! Oh my god, look at that.
Sage: [amused] It’s pissing on a tree.
[Urine splashes.]
Merlin: Get it while it’s distracted, boy. We must keep it safe. The very fate of our mission might lay in the balance.
Stev: [hesitant] Should I just… d-do I just go grab it?
Merlin: [frantic] He’s peeing! You don’t have any time!
Stev: [frantic] Oh! Okay! I’m gonna go! I’m, eh—
[Stev pants and he sprints toward the fox.]
Hey! Okay. Hey, fox? Fox? Fox, can you—
Merlin: [frantic] Don’t, eh—
Stev: Can you understand me?
Merlin: [frantic] What’re you doing?! Just grab ’im!
Stev: Can you understand me?
Merlin: [frantic] Grab ’im, grab ’im, grab ’im, grab ’im, grab ’im, grab ’im!
Stev: Do you talk- talk to…hello?
Sage: The fox turns and is very startled.
[The fox yelps quietly.]
But stands still.
Travis: Is it still peeing?
[Emily and Sage chuckle.]
Sage: It’s done.
Travis: Oh.
Stev: Sorry. I don’t mean to interrupt anyone who’re in the middle of their business, but look we- myself and my old, old, old friend here. We don’t mean you any harm. We’re just tryin’a put some distance between you and that weird guy that’s tryin’ to chase you.
And he said you can talk, and I don’t know if that’s true or not—
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
—but I know you’re magic, so probably. So I’m just gonna keep…carrying on with this until you either walk away or respond I guess.… I’m Stev.
[Jessica snorts.]
[Mystical music.]
Fox: I am something larger than you or me.
Stev: Oh my god!
Fox: The forest, the trees.
Stev: The fox talks! It’s a talking fox!
Merlin: [distant] I told you!
Fox: The earth. Sprawling vines, and weeds.
Stev: Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to repeat that.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
I got too caught up in the idea that you were a talking fox.
Fox: Ah, so- I am larger than—
Merlin: I couldn’t hear you!
Fox: —you or me. The forest, the trees, the earth. Sprawling vines and weeds.
Stev: Oh, those are good lyrics. That’s really good. That’s good stuff!
Sage: [amused] Stev pulls out his notebook as fast as he can and writes it down.
Stev: I am the tree…
[Pencil scribbles in notebook.]
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Emily: Stev can write?
Stev: I am…the vine… It’s more of like a hieroglyph kinda thing.
[Sage chuckles.]
Just, like, a lot o’ symbols.
[Emily stifles laughter. Sage chuckles.]
Jessica: He’s just drawing pictures.
Stev: Coo coo ca— Alright, so what…
[Jessica chuckles.]
[Stev finishes his notes and puts his notebook away.]
Merlin: Stev, let me have a crack at it.
[Merlin walks closer.]
My dear, magical creature. We come to you with great humility. And I want to impress upon you my authority as a grand wizard.
[Travis and Sage chuckle.]
Stev: To do what?
Merlin: To try to get him to come with us.
Fox: I don’t follow.
Merlin: As to- as our t- as our friend.
[Sage stifles laughter. Emily chuckles.]
Stev: [Travis stifles laughter] Oh you want him as an animal companion.
Merlin: Yes.
Stev: Oh! So you think if he comes with us, he’ll be safe.
Merlin: Not only safe, we’ll have a- a- a insight into what happens in the future.
Fox: I travel alone.
Stev: Oh.
Merlin: So do we! It works out great!
[Travis chuckles.]
Fox: You are a party of four. You lied to me.
[Emily chuckles.]
Travis: Oh.
Sage: Add 1 Dishonor.
[Dishonor chime.]
[David groans.]
Stev: [cajoling] We could be a party of five!
[Sage chuckles.]
Well, look. We’re just a little worried about you, you know? You’re out here gettin’ chased by, uh…
Fox: Is Adam apprehended?
Stev: Is that, uh, is that the person over there?
Fox: Indeed.
Merlin, Stev: Yes.
Fox: Then I shall be gone from this place. He has been chasing me for days. This is my chance.
Merlin: Before you go can I ask you one question?
Fox: If you must.
Merlin: Will Elowyn be okay? I’m worried about her.
[Beat.]
Fox: Only time will tell.
[Merlin groans in annoyance.]
Stev: Okay. Can I ask you a question?
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Fox: [annoyed] Sure.
[Travis chuckles.]
Merlin: Can I ask you another question after him?
[Chuckling.]
Stev: Do you—
Fox: I guess. Uh, though, I thought the point was that I was gonna get away, but yeah, go for it.
Stev: Okay, so… Look, I- look I’m a- I’m a bard, and I- and I play the mandolin. But I only kn— I’ve got G, C, and D, and I- but I don’t have anything for flavor, you know? And you’re already a better lyricist than I am, so I must imagine you’re a better musician. So d’you know any other chords that could help me round out my songs?
You’re lookin’ at me like you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about. You know what?
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Stev, roll Persuasion. This is an Honorable action. You’re seeking a moment of truth. You’re not tryin’a take advantage of this fox. Maybe it knows that forth, wonderful chord.
Travis: 16.
Sage: Nat. 20 at 16, but still not low enough.
[Dishonor chime.]
Travis: Ah, this game sucks.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Fox: I have a feeling you will find what you seek if you remain honorable, but this chord is not mine to give.
Stev: So you don’t play the mandolin?
Merlin: …He doesn’t have any thumbs.
Fox: I’m a—
[Travis chuckles.]
—a fox. I don’t- I don’t have— Yeah. I can- I can’t play music. What d’you want—
Stev: Well, I’m just checking! You can talk.
[Emily giggles. Jessica stifles laughter.]
It’s just…
Fox: I’m going to be gone from this place.
Stev: [put out] Yeah, alright.
Fox: Thank you for saving me.
Stev: Oh, you’re welcome.
Fox: You meant to do that, right?
Stev: Oh, nah, absolutely.
Fox: Okay.
Stev: Yeah [chuckles].
Merlin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Stev: No sweat. Just, you know, yeah.
[Mystical music fades.]
Adam: Yeah, sure he says he pulled that sword, but I didn’t see it! And, you know, Camelot—
[Rebecca sighs wearily.]
—they’re like, the- eh, they- they—
Elowyn: If you don’t shut your mouth, I will shut it—
Adam: Taxation is theft! Is all I’m sayin’.
Elowyn: —[slow] with the hilt of my sword.
[She smacks the hilt against her palm as she glares at him.]
Adam: I- what does Arthur really know? What does he really know?!
Emily: Can I—
Adam: What does Arthur really know? He’s got nothin’
Emily: Can I kick ’im in the mouth? [chuckles]
[Sage chuckles.]
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: A Dishonorable action.
Emily: [amused] Yup [chuckles].
Sage: Roll for Brawn.
[Dice roll on table.]
Emily: No.
[Dishonor chime.]
[Suspenseful music.]
No, no, no, nah.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Nah. [stifles laughter]
Sage: Lady Noble Elowyn goes to lift her leg and then…that is a moment of weakness that Adam sees and takes advantage of! He breaks from her grasp!
[Scuffle.]
And he goes to run into the woods.
[Adam sprints away.]
Rebecca: Um…
Elowyn: Rebecca!
Rebecca: I’m gonna go grab ’im!
Sage: Right as Merlin and Stev enter back onto the main path.
Elowyn: [distant] Get him!
Adam: Uh. What?
Elowyn: [distant] Don’t let him leave!
Adam: What does, uh— Uh, look, look. I just- [tearful] I just- I just- I just needed to feed my family, man!
Stev: We’ve been here the whole time, waiting for a move like this!
Merlin: Yes, wizard and bard should put you in your place, you vile fiend!
Adam: Look, look, loo- uh, fine, fine. Y- ah- you guys are clearly p-provin’ your worth. I’m just- I’m just- I’m out of here. [tearful] Okay? I- I- I’m gonna go. I just wanted to feed my kids.
[Elowyn jogs up to them.]
Elowyn: [scolding] Stop terrorizing magical creatures. Nothing good will come of it.
Rebecca: [threatening] We will find you.
Adam: Not terrorizing. It’s- it’s the tree of- it’s the- the- the- [stammers] it’s the—
Rebecca: [loud] You don’t even know what you’re talking about!
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Elowyn: It’s the Ouroboros of Life, alright? Now go!
Adam: [quiet] Stronger and smarter than me, dammit.
Stev: Go put it on whatever this time period’s equivalent of a Facebook group is—
[Sage snorts.]
—you piece of shit.
Sage: And he stomps off in the direction from whence he came. Away from the fox.
[Music crescendos and fades.]
The end, encounter one.
Travis: Hooray!
[Suspenseful music.]
Sage: And now it is time for judgement.
Travis: Oh no!
Sage: You left Adam alone and tired. +1 Dishonor.
[Dishonor chime.]
Travis: Ah, fuck.
Sage: You left Adam hungry and without food. +1 Dishonor.
[Dishonor chime.]
Jessica: Oh.
Travis: Oh, no.
Sage: Adam is still angry about the fox. [amused] Absolutely +1.
[Dishonor chime.]
Travis: [quiet] Don’t like this.
Sage: You did not ask the fox for a reward. Good job. The fox was not turned over to Adam, good job. You did not rob him, good job! You did not try to restrain or bind the fox, even with good intent. You just spoke to it, true and pure. You did not try to kill the fox, you did not try to convince it to sacrifice itself. Nothing of foul intent. Therefore 3 points in total that you add to your Dishonor.
[Jessica burps.]
Honorable things. You agreed to help the fox and let it outta the woods, kinda. -3 Dishonor.
[Honor chime.]
You did not convince Adam of your- your deed, though, however. So, uh, no benefit there. And you also didn’t help Adam get some food when he shouted that he was just tryin’a feed his family.
Rebecca: There was no time!
Sage: Came and went. So no benefit there but no negative either. So Overall, a net positive! You lost 3 and you gained 3.
The adventure will continue.
[Forest birds cry out as the group continue through the forest.]
Merlin: We’re running out of time! You idiots too slowly for adventuring.
Rebecca: [defensive] I have a 5’2” man on my back at all times.
Merlin: Stef, get off of her back and do your own walking.
Stev: What? If I— One of your steps is like four of mine!
Merlin: Then you better giddyup, haven’t you?
Stev: [sighs] Alright, fine! I’m…
[He grunts as he slides off Rebecca’s back and lands on the grass.]
You have to tell me if something’s coming. I can’t see over tree lines.
[Rebecca sighs.]
Merlin: Can somebody get ’im some stilts?
[Sage chuckles.]
Stev: Make me some! Wizard!
Merlin: I can’t hear you down there.
[Emily chuckles.]
Stev: [loud] It’s not my fault you’re in a different weather pressure system, you tall, old fuck!
Jessica: [amused] How tall is Merlin?
David: [taunting] Pretty fuckin’ tall. Taller than him.
[Chuckling.]
Rebecca: I’m taller than you.
Stev: [loud] Everyone’s taller than me! That’s the problem!
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Sage: The woods become darker, foggier, mistier.
[Rebecca lets out a small, worried groan as she looks around.]
There’s an overcast. A lot of dead branches.
[Suspenseful music builds.]
And you reach a misty, bleak pond. And you hear something scurrying about.
[Stev grunts quietly as he scoots away from the noise.]
Elowyn: Shh. Do you hear that?
Sage: Another delay. +1 Dishonor to the whole party.
[Jessica gasps.]
And now we roll Authority to get the initiative order for this encounter.
[Stat test chime.]
[Dice roll on table.]
Travis: 3.
Jessica: 11!
Emily: 17.
David: 14.
Sage: Okay, great. We hear a little squirm. A little rustle of some kind throughout the marsh, kinda moving some branches in the water or whatever.
Elowyn, what would you like to do?
Elowyn: If there’s somebody there, show yourself!
[Crickets chirp and frogs croak.]
Sage: Nothing.
Elowyn: Alight, well. See if this gets its attention.
[She bends down to scoop up a rock and chucks it towards the noise.]
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Roll for Brawn. How far did you throw that rock?
[Dice roll on table.]
Emily: Nat. Fail. [chuckles]
[Sage clicks his tongue.]
Sage: The rock doesn’t go very far.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
And then it rolls down a slight incline and [amused] lands on Merlin’s foot.
Merlin: Hey!
Stev: What the hell was that?
Elowyn: Well you do something then.
Merlin: Very well. We will see if this shivering thing’s hiding behind in the murk. If they can appreciate the intimidating prowess of a legendary sorcerer!
[Rebecca burps.]
Elowyn: Alright…
Merlin: And I flail my staff around!
[Staff whirls through the air.]
[Sage snorts.]
In an intimidating gesture!
[Emily stifles laughter.]
Sage: If you’re rolling for Intimidation, that’s gonna be Dishonorable.
[Stat test chime.]
[Dice roll on table.]
David: 4.
Sage: [tsks] It’s not over.
[Dishonor chime.]
David: [quiet] Damn.
Sage: Merlin’s not very scary.
[Merlin growls in frustration.]
[Stat test chime.]
Let’s have Rebecca roll for Folklore. See if she knows anything about—
Jessica: Great album.
[Sage chuckles.]
Sage: Go ahead and roll. No bonuses to this, but it is Honorable.
[Dice roll on table.]
Jessica: Ah! It’s under. 8.
[Honor chime.]
Sage: Great! Rebecca hears the sound and listens carefully.
[Rebecca sighs.]
There’s kind of a squirminess to it. Moving in a wave in the bushes throughout the water.
Rebecca: Oh. Okay, well I thought it could have been like a little woodland creature, but it sounds like it’s going through leaves and the water, which makes it sound like we are dealing with a serpent.
Elowyn: How…large?
Sage: And then…
[Suspenseful music thrums.]
Something emerges.
[Water splashes as something rises from the marsh.]
It’s bright, it’s beautiful, and Merlin can’t move.
[Merlin groans as he stares at the bright, chiming light.]
Rebecca: What?
Elowyn: What is it?
Sage: Shining right at him. Rebecca sees!
Rebecca: [gasps] Is that…
Sage: She’s heard of legends of this serpent creature with beautiful skin that stuns anyone that may look upon its beauty. Legends call it…
[Rebecca gasps.]
A Scitalis.
[Snake hisses.]
Rebecca: Oh my lord! It’s- it’s real! It’s real! It’s a Scitalis!
Stev: What?
Elowyn: Oh.
Rebecca: It’s this magical, giant snake that’s beautiful. It’s almost blinding. And it’s going to attack Merlin!
[Merlin groans as he fails to escape his stun.]
Elowyn: Merlin! Merlin! Uh, l-look away!
Rebecca: We have to do something!
[Merlin groans again.]
Sage: Stev’s turn is up. Stev, what would you like to do?
Travis: I’m gonna play a song so fuckin’ rockin’—
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
—Merlin breaks out of his trance from the snake and runs away!
[Merlin groans louder.]
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Stev, roll me Performance.
Travis: Oh boy.
[Dice roll on table.]
8. So yes.
[Honor chime.]
Sage: Great! Stev pulls out his mandolin as fast as he can!
Stev: Here we go everybody!
[Suspenseful music fades.]
One! A two! A one, two, three, four!
[He strums his mandolin.]
[sings] Wake the fuck up, Merlin!
Wake the fuck up, Merlin!
It’s just a snake!
It’s just a snake!
Stopping for a snake!
It’s Merlin
The wizard.
He’s really
Fuckin’ awesome.
He’s way cooler than this snake
Even though it’s really fuckin’ pretty!
[Merlin groans as he tries to break from the stun.]
Merlin’s gonna wake up
And Merlin’s gonna do shit.
And we’re gonna get away
And find the Green Knight
So let’s go now.
Wake up!
[Mandolin strums to an end.]
Sage: And somehow, this song, because of Merlin’s very questionable music tastes—
[Travis chuckles.]
—is more beautiful than the scales [amused] of this serpent. And Merlin turns around and snaps out of it.
[Magical chime fades. Merlin grunts and rips his gaze away from the snake.]
Elowyn: Oh, good god.
Sage: A moment of freedom.
Rebecca: Everyone—
Stev: [loud] Let’s go!
Rebecca: —divert your eyes.
[Suspenseful music builds.]
Sage: But then the serpent notices and swims back into the water.
[Water splashes.]
It’s swimming around.
Rebecca: [quiet] Shhhit. [normal] It’s gonna strike at any moment.
Stev: Well then what d’we do?
Elowyn: Don’t look at it.
Merlin: It’s exactly as I feared. This whole pond is infested with a Scitalis. It’s the most dreaded of the reptilian enemies of old. There’s so much lore behind it, but what we must learn from it is that we must avert our eyes!
Rebecca: [irked] I’ve already said that!
Merlin: Yes, well that’s pretty much it.
[Travis chuckles.]
If you would find a way to fight it without looking at it, then we’re golden.
Elowyn: Could we—
Merlin: But you—
Elowyn: Could we view it through a reflection without it having this effect?
Merlin: Absolutely. So…we’re gonna need a series of mirrors.
[Travis chuckles. Sage stifles laughter.]
Elowyn: Alright well, Rebecca, how polished is your sword?
Rebecca: Um…
[Blade rings out of its sheath.]
Sage: Rebecca pulls out her sword, per the request. It’s kind of dull. As the daughter of the blacksmith, she has the finest weaponry, but you four have been traveling for several months without much pause for upgrades or sharpening.
It doesn’t seem like it’s going to work. However! You guys are great mind readers. Elowyn looks across the pond and sees clearly bloodied, clearly the result of a fallen soldier who was prey to this serpent. There lies a very shiny and very mystical sword.
Elowyn: Over there, look. Across. Look at that sword. It…
Merlin: Is that a sword or the sun, it’s so bright. Oh my god.
Elowyn: I don’t know, but it seems potentially useful.
Merlin: We’re gonna need that! We’re gonna need the reflections of—
Sage: A quick splash in the water.
[Rebecca and Merlin gasp.]
Rebecca: Oh my god!
Stev: Yes.
Merlin: I can’t go under again!
Sage: You must go quick, Elowyn!
Emily: Okay, I’m gonna- I’m gonna dash for that sword.
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Ooo, dashing is going to, once again, come from Brawn.
[Dice roll on table.]
Emily: Ah, hell yeah. That’s a 7.
[Honor chime.]
Sage: Nice. Elowyn, in the heat of the moment, goes right around the pond. Doesn’t wade into the water, ’cause duh! That would slow her down. And she goes up to the body and she gets a better look at his sword.
It is a gorgeous weapon. Razor-sharp. Clearly enhanced in some way with this pale, indigo aura. The weight of it is perfect in Lady Elowyn’s hand. Almost as if it was meant to be.
Elowyn: This is some of the most beautiful, exquisite sword I’ve- I’ve ever seen. With a blade like this, how could men not fell a creature like this?
Perhaps he…hesitated? He…couldn’t kill the beast. Well, I promise to put you to good use, my friend.
[Leather creaks as she stands up. The sword scrapes as she picks it up. Water ripples.]
Sage: Suddenly from the water! The serpent, the Scitalis, has revealed itself!
Rebecca: Oh no!
Merlin: Don’t look at it, whatever you do!
Elowyn: [pained] My eyes!
[Music crescendos and cuts off.]
Credits |
[The Twilight Space music throughout.]
Kristin Couture: 20 Sided Stories is produced by Sage G.C., Travis Reaves, Jessica Dahlgren, Emily Ervolina, and David Michmerhuizen.
Editing and Sound Design by Sage G.C.
Twilight Space artwork by Chandler Candela
Original music score by Sage G.C.
And very special thanks to all our wonderful Patreon Supporters of past, present, and future
Podcast Directed by Sage G.C.
You can follow 20 Sided Stories on Twitter or Instagram @20SidedStories
Or visit our website for all sorts of goodies at 20sidedstories.com
Narrator: The legend has begun, but its carvings are incomplete. Will our adventurers reach the green chapel in time? Or will Dishonor overcome them?
Find out next week in the Green Knight - Part 2 when you return to THE TWILIGHT SPACE.
[Episode End music crescendos and fades out. Radio clicks off.]