20 Sided Stories

POKÉMON! Pen & Paper Version

#?:/>A598.B857 (Finale Prelude)

Air Date: April 23, 2019

[Podcast Intro music throughout. Glitching is heard throughout.]

Sage G.C.: This podcast and series has no affiliation with Nintendo, The Pokémon Company, Game Freak, Creatures Inc., or anything in the official Pokémon franchise whatsoever. It is a non-profit, fan-made parody piece created in fair use and all product names, trademarks, and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

N-n-nostalgic- Ka-Kanto.

[Podcast Intro music crescendos and cuts off.]

Jessica Dahlgren: Thank you and—

Finale Prelude

[Harsh glitching is heard throughout.]

(Professor Oak): Welcome to the wonderful world of Pokémon!

[Oak cuts out and glitches back in.]

—secrets to be found in the world of Pokémon!

[Oak cuts out again and glitching worsens.]

Going to catch them all.

[Glitching cuts out and echoes.]

Blue: Red? He doesn’t need to be here. I haven’t seen him in Viridian for years. He doesn’t- he knows how to catch Pokémon, he doesn’t need to… He’s doing something. I know it.

Old Man: [muffled; outside] Wanna learn how to catch a Pokémon?

Blue: [voice cracks] Hey!

[Blue runs to exit the Gym. An automated door opens and he sprints toward the Old Man.]

Hey! Get away from him! I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re doing something!

[Glitching warbles.]

(Candace): Th-they all repeat themselves.

(Professor Oak): Red! Where are you?

(Channelers): [throughout] Kaerf. Maeg. Kaerf. Maeg.

(Professor Oak): Where’s Red?

[Glitching builds and cuts off.]

[Wind howls. Footsteps scuff on gravel. Blue sighs.]

Blue: ’Sup, loser? How many times have we done this? Four? Five? Doesn’t matter. I know that you’re up to something and I’m gonna figure out what it is. Even if I have to beat it outta you or your Pokémon. I don’t care. I’m gonna figure it out. Today. Now.

[Glitching, high-pitched buzz is heard. Chimes are heard.]

Red: [glitches] Let’s do this.

[Beat.]

Blue: [quiet; shocked] What did you say?

[Beat.]

Red: I said let’s do this then, Blue.

[A Pokémon exits its Ball. High-pitched, warbling ringing is heard.]

Blue: Whaaat the hell are you doing? What is- what is that? What did- what did you do?

[Glitching stops.]

[Harsh, high-pitched beeping.]

[A static overlays and intensifies.]

(Candace): —all repeat themselves.

(Professor Oak): —going to catch them all!

(Skip): I think there’s some sort of chain reaction goin’ on.

(Candace): —all repeat themselves.

(Professor Oak): Where’s Red?

(Skip): He must have died.

(Candace): N-N-N-Nurse Joy!

(Professor Oak): Where’d you find a Mudkip?

[Glitches halt.]

[A door opens and clicks shut.]

Zach: Uncle Blue! Uncle—

[Blue grunts. A loud crash is heard as he punches a hole in the wall. He sighs angrily.]

[Creepy music plays; Slow rendition of the Cinnabar Island theme.]

Zach: Oh… You okay?

Blue: Y-yeah. I’m okay. Why? What’s… You’re home early.

Zach: Yeah. This is when I usually get home.

[Blue clears his throat.]

You don’t- you haven’t lived here in a while, so…

Blue: Um…

Zach: I, uh… Where’s my mom?

Blue: Uh… Daisy’s not home right now. She’s…running some errands.

Zach: [hesitant] I got a Tangela.

Blue: That’s- that’s cool. ’S a good Grass-type.

[Beat.]

[quiet] Shallow move pool. It’s good Defense, though. No, no, can’t use it. No.

Zach: What- what are you- who’re you talking to?

Blue: Nothing. I’m talking to myself.

[Blue walks across the room and picks up his backpack, gathering items.]

Zach: Oh. Okay… Uh, are you leavin’ or…

Blue: Uh, yeah. I’m goin’ away for a little bit. On, uh…business.

Zach: Cool. Like, Pokémon Champion business, right?

[Backpack zips shut.]

Blue: Yeah. I’m off to start a new…training regiment. I’m lookin’ for new Pokémon. See if I can get a new team together. Maybe get my…my Gym back.

Zach: Um, what do I tell Mom about the—

Blue: Just- just tell her I’m gonna be away for a while. I’ll have my phone. Um…

Zach: ’S a big hole. [nervous chuckle]

Blue: Don’t- don’t tell your mother, okay?

Zach: O-okay. [nervous chuckle]

Blue: Okay.

Zach: Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Blue: I’m very sorry that you had to see this.

Zach: I’ll jus’ put a- I’ll put a little poster over it.

[Paper rustles as Zach puts a poster on the wall.]

Blue: Thank you. Oh, that’s a nice little map.

Zach: Yeah.

Blue: We have a lot of maps in this house.

[Sage chuckles.]

Zach: I know. Where do they come from?

Blue: I don’t know. I think she makes them.

[Pokédex beeps slowly. Glitching static throughout.]

(Professor Oak): That isn’t one of the 151 Pokémon that I ever discovered.

(Cedric): [muffled; glitchy] We’re pretty much going on a whole tour- We’re pretty much going on a whole tour- We’re pretty much going on a whole tour—

[Glitching cuts off.]

[Team Rocket music plays quietly in the background, a slow warble to it.]

Cedric: All right, Trainer Blue. Looks like, uh, everything’s in order. Talked with Giovanni. The world tour is happening. Still down? Last chance to back out.

Blue: I’m not backin’ out. You’ll get your money, Cedric.

Cedric: Good.

Blue: On one condition.

Cedric: Oh?

Blue: I need time in Kalos.

[Beat.]

Cedric: How much time we talkin’ here, Blue? We gotta get to a lot o’ regions—

Blue: I need as much time as I need. I’ve got something I need to get there.

Cedric: Well, alright. Tell me what it is. We’ll do it but I…

Blue: I’m gonna catch Mewtwo.

[Beat.]

Cedric: Didn’t Trainer Red already… I…could’ve sworn that—

Blue: There were two. There’s another one. I put so much time into figuring this out. They made two, Cedric. And I’m gonna get one.

Cedric: Shit, that would, uh…couldn’t- can’t imagine we’d sell that one. It’s kind of—

Blue: No.

Cedric: Oh, okay.

Blue: That’s for me, Cedric.

Cedric: Yeah. Alright. Well, if that’s the only thing that’s gonna get the investment our way, then, you got yourself a deal, Blue.

Blue: Got yourself a deal. As long as I get my Mewtwo.

Cedric: [stifles laughter] You too will get your—

Blue: Shut up.

[Sage chuckles.]

[Glitching warbles and builds again. Eerie chanting from Pokémon Tower is subtly heard underneath everything.]

(Channelers): Kaerf. Maeg.

(Candace): They all repeat themselves!

(Xander): I think we stopped this in the middle of something.

(Black Belt Kiyo): Sabrina has been in a psychic coma for years.

(Xander): I think whatever they were doing—

(Candace): I don’t feel very good.

[Glitching and chanting stops.]

[A dense wind and crickets. Distant bird Pokémon cry out.]

Fiddler: [worried] OoooH. OooooooH!

Candace: [asleep] Mmm, Fiddy. No, Fiddy… Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s wrong. Just…

[Glitching begins again. A heartbeat is heard underneath.]

(Skip): There’s nobody out there.

(Candace): —all repeat themselves.

(Lance): It’s almost as if—

(Professor Oak): Going to catch them all!

(Lance): They were gone.

(Skip): I think there’s some sort of chain reaction going on.

(Candace): —all repeat themselves.

(Professor Oak): Red! Where are you?

(Skip): I think this has somethin’ to do with the landslide on Victory Road.

(Xander): I don’t care what goes over our heads so long as—

(Cedric): It was also more than a landslide.

(Professor Oak): Where’s Red?

(Cedric): It seems that towns are disa-disa-disa—

(Kid): [chime] Are you guys goin’ to Mt. Moon?

(Professor Oak): Where’s Red?

[Voices overlap in a chaotic frenzy. Harsh digital noise intensifies and fires off in succession. A huge static wall, then…]

[All noise cuts off.]

[A fire crackles and pops. Crickets chirp in the background. A beat passes before Zach quietly clears his throat.]

Zach: Really showed, uh… Really showed those, uh, Dream Police who’s boss back there, huh? Good job, Uncle.

Blue: What? Hmm?

Zach: Oh, uh…

Blue: Sorry, I was…thinking. About somethin’. What- what’d you say?

Zach: Uh, just, uh, it doesn’t matter. Just… We’re a cool team, right? Havin’ a good time. ’S just, you know…

Blue: Yeah.

Zach: Stick it to the…to those…nerds.

Blue: [light chuckle] Yeah.

Zach: Losers!

[A beat passes while the fire crackles.]

Blue: Zach.

[Beat.]

I’m gonna need you to train on your own for a little bit, okay? This is an important step for you. I’ve made you this training regiment.

[Paper rustles. Zach stammers quietly.]

You’re gonna go to these routes and fight these Pokémon, and when you’re done, you and I are gonna meet up in Viridian City. Okay?

Zach: Uncle Blue, I thought we were just finally gettin’ a good groove—

Blue: Zach, I got important stuff to do, okay?

Zach: That’s what you always say, Uncle. Every time! You say the same thing over and- I don’t know what that means. You talk about, oh, there’s a- there’s a cycle, and then- then, uh, and you’re gonna earn your spot back or some stuff and- I know it has to do with Red, but you won’t tell me what Red’s doin’—

Blue: Okay! Look, Zach.

[Suspenseful ambient music slowly swells.]

The world is changing. Seven years ago, when Red took my spot…something happened to him. He got weird. Weirder than normal. He started looking for things. Going to the same places. Over and over again and then he’d repeat, like patterns. Like he was trying to do something in sequence. He f-figured something out. There are more…things…than just the Pokémon that we know about.

Zach: Is it like the one that you caught that you won’t let me see?

Blue: No. This is different. This isn’t like Mewtwo.

Zach: [gasps; whispers] You caught a Mewtwo?

Blue: [whispers] You can’t tell anyone.

Zach: [whispers] Uncle Blue, that’s crazy!

Blue: It is. And it’s f- my only shot. Listen. Red caught something that he shouldn’t have. Red went too far.

[Dissonant music builds then fades out.]

[Beat.]

Zach: W-what did he get?

[Beat.]

Blue: They call it…

[Beat.]

MissingNo.

[Horrifying atonal music slams in. Static and intensity builds.]

[Epic, devious music plays throughout.]

Sage: Episode 16 – Victory Road, the finale to POKÉMON! Pen & Paper Version will air on May 1st. Now is your last chance to get a shoutout on this season, which will help us fundraise for the next one.

Visit patreon.com/20sidedstories for more info. Otherwise, spread the word. It all comes down to this.

We’re @20SidedStories on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. #WrapItUp

But remember, whatever you do. Do not. Utter. Its name.

[Music fades out.]

Extras

Blue: Is there any other questions you have? I mean…

Zach: Does Tangrowth evolve into anything else?

Blue: No, Tangrowth is done evolving.

Zach: Why? It doesn’t look done. [Sage stifles laughter]

Blue: [amused] I know. I know it doesn’t look done.